Puppies are just like babies, except you can't leave them locked in a hot car. RT @helloitsfey puppies #jokesondemand
If you stick voodoo needles in a black cat, that cat has really bad luck. RT @arseny_vlg black cats and voodoo dolls #jokesondemand
Puerto Rico is the poor man's Puerto Rico. RT @ELL_INTERIOR topic: puerto rico! #jokesondemand
FACT: Frat guys stain more blouses than mustard. RT @pdodson Frat guys and mustard #jokesondemand
It's ok to drink miso straight from the bowl due to a stubborn Asian adherence to chopsticks. RT @CatLaReine Miso soup. #jokesondemand
My theory about Quantum theory: it's the reason I don't know shit about science. RT @un1k3n Topic: Quantum theory #jokesondemand
His name has more annoying Spellings than Hollywood. RT @jbgud gadafhi #jokesondemand
Joke. RT @TheNewYoinker comedic premise #jokesondemand
"Excel" gives false hope to people working shitty data entry jobs. RT @darrellpratt Topic: MS Excel #jokesondemand
If your middle name is an animal, you make music I hate. RT @hughesherbe John Cougar Mellencamp #jokesondemand
Mother Theresa is a saint & caterpillars ain't done shit. Guess who's still here? RT @Lo_run Mother Theresa and caterpillars #jokesondemand
Ebola is a terrible way to die. Unless you live in Africa. RT @TheSimpleSimian Ebola #jokesondemand
Difference btwn coke & catholics: catholics make you feel guilty after taking your money RT @jasonroti cocaine and catholics #jokesondemand
Jews don't recognize Ash Wednesday. We got our ash fill in the 1940s. RT @scottmacphoto Ash Wednesday #jokesondemand
Jews were the first to have interest in lenting. RT @hughesherbe Lent #jokesondemand
I've never been to Houston, but I know what I'm not missing. RT @tideturns Houston #jokesondemand
GW Bush spent his presidency as a taint, stuck between a dick (Rumsfeld) and an asshole (Cheney) RT @NKallday the taint #jokesondemand
Huffing gas is a great way to conserve it. RT @manda_tee rising gas prices #jokesondemand
Track pants for fat people should be called slacks. RT @AhLostMahStuff Topic: pants #jokesondemand
Remember to yield to an ambulance, unless you're dying. RT @aisha_crus ambulance #jokesondemand
He took his talents to South Beach, but forgot his hairline in Akron. RT @ACEisKING lebron james. #jokesondemand
Two things you don't want in your face. RT @S3RP1CO chuck sheen and troll semen #jokesondemand
One is a euphemism for vagina, the other is delicious. RT @jane286 tacos and cats #jokesondemand
If Kobe went to college he would've rushed every sorority house. RT @bambino13 sorority Kobe Bryant #jokesondemand
Setting clock forward on Sunday so it blinks 1:00. RT @sharewolf Spring forward #jokesondemand
